Good-bye my love said after each exhale ridding of the pain co-existing inside. I had to see you one last time. Capture your smile, your beautiful eyes that I adored looking into mine. Take my hand and tell me that you will ok. I am a man but I have to cry OUT to GOD to take this pain away. Baby, are you sure leaving me is the best thing to do. We both made mistakes but I willing to forgive if you are willing to forgive too. I know your the one. I knew it from the very start. Two years later, still in love, you began drifting apart. My hand, my heart and my love are all aligned for love, for us, for-ever. But you needed space, you said it was for the better. More space, less time to dream, room for the enemy to seek, kill and destroy. What I thought was real became a defected toy. I sought after you with pure might and purpose. Losing you I could not fathom. Rather fight than not. You said not. You said don't wait. You need to do you. While my love was just in bloom. Now, I am stewing in my emotions... Wanting one last cry...

?

Time was what was necessary. Dreams of holy matrimony engaged my thoughts. That day kissing my bride under the cherry moon, etched carefully across my heart,rehearsed and photographed, produced a blank photo. I was in love with your "dont do's" never contemplating any less but giving you every ounce of my being. Cherishing every breath you took. Loving you into tomorrow's sun; breathing life into your spirit one scripture, one prayer at a time. I could not fathom why the photo remained blank just when the "I do" was silently manifested. I needed to see your smile in the photo. My mind settles with yes, but my heart sirens no. Cold feet? No. Hardened heart? No. YOU turned stone cold. Like love served you an eviction notice. All I wanted was your everything. I wanted to be your everything...365 days every year. I did not care who was your first kiss; I wanted to be your last. Your eyes told no truths. So what are we doing?

I caught feelings while daydreaming unto your eyes. So beautiful to gaze; more delicate than a pink rose blooming on Easter Sunday. My eyes gazing with intent. Desiring to place kisses where my love desires to live. The unspoken passion to carry you into tomorrow happy has me presently romancing your entire being. Wanting you here, right now, between my heart and my loving arms, today means nothing if my love for you cannot display its meaning upon you. Wine and Us. Two loving souls connecting beyond the hemisphere finding our faults under the stars becoming celebrities within. Each word spoken s'mores my heart, cries my tears, by the fireplace we lay creating a rendition of how love making is done through a kiss. How beautiful you are. How each breath you take synchronizes with every sentence I create. Smile baby. Smile. Smile while I am kissing you. Laugh as I tickle you. Dream of me marrying you. Finally realized that I was not crazy at all for saying I-knew-you-were-the-one the very first day I saw you. God created you for me. God sent you to me to fulfill your dreams through me. So S-M-I-L-E. Love has taken its position...ready, set, and go.

I wish I knew perfect. But I do not think perfect would ever want to be friends. I have a heart that has been broken. I have eyes that have seen un-truths. I have walked and turned my head away from perfect; leaving perfect with a permanent scar. No words could ever convince perfect to stay. I abused her with my actions; lied with my right hand up; perfect slept with the enemy...a reflection of imperfectness no mirror could reflect. Under a rock without hope, I wept, hoping to find a way. Broken and un-guarded, with only minutes to despair, I reverted back to old ways of thinking pushing me further into the abyss. Charting time and energy, not caring for the repercussions of my repetitious acts of selfishness. Forgive me. Piece by piece of my heart, mind and spirit began shredding away in a darkened place. Dry mouthed, no sense of time nor direction, my echoed sobs, intense tearing of eyes, and abandoned dreams collapsed me to my knees. There, in an instant, there I watched a part of me seek a new destination without my permission; Oh, what do I do now? My jig-saw puzzled life is only asking perfect to befriend me once the pieces of my heart become whole. Until then...

On the Cusp of Midnight

Before the midnight hour my mind will produce run-on sentences and fragmented visions describing how and why LOVE is important to me. Enclosed in a tiny box tucked under my beating heart, frustrated at times, praying someone LOVES me like Jesus loves the church. In my tiny box, lovingly at will, I want to share my compassions, deepest fears and regrets, yet remain on course of what tomorrow is destined to bring. Solemn within the scope of my inner-reality, I charge time to drum at my pace so I can vacuum every moment of love and relationship to succeed fail. Time withers. My desires intercepts snippets of HOW-TO-LOVE-GREAT. The word can't rallies itself into what-if-I-fail. Failure nestles its DNA along side my viewpoint. Ever damaging my perception. Time does not want me. Time does not wait for my healing. I want Love BUT the bleeding...the bleeding...the agony mixed with ecstasy had me writing a song for NINA. Time, take my hand. Let me understand you. Your so big I fear making excuses about working simultaneously with you. Love does not grow without time. From sunrise to sunset, all my thinking is time, love, time and love again. Remixing the two variables trying to enrich the process. As the midnight hour approaches, certain ideologies refuge my heart: (1) Never waste a moment; (2) Be in love with love; (3) You are loved unconditionally; (4) Love made you; when you die-love will remain; (5) You cannot control time, but you can control You. Not a power outage inside of my soul can manifest doubts of tomorrow. Even though, time does not wait, Love does. Its soothes. Its dictates. It erases. It builds. It caresses. People hurt. Love does not. I LOVE love. Two seconds till midnight and Jesus still loves the church. My tiny box is filling. My compassions, deepest fears and regrets still remain. One second left till midnight and Love's importance has increased. 12:00am....I LOVE YOU has been time stamped on...You.