Rebirth-Day 6

I realized today, after a self-evaluation of myself, that some people want to keep you and judge you based upon your past. Funny thing is they are the first people who say "you will never change." Judge yourself before you judge others!!!

Rebirth-Day 5

Woke up this morning having "arguments" in my head. Situational arguments stemming from a past relationship toppled with the things in my heart that I never had a chance to display. I thought about a puppet. A puppet is controlled by the manipulation of a person to control its every movement. So the question of the day: Who controls you? Are you satan's puppet or is God in your driver's seat? Satan controls people through manipulation, lies, and deception. God is love, forever faithful, long-suffering, and loves the unsaved just as much as the saved. God wants to drive you to victory everyday, so again, I ask...Who controls you? Whose in your driver's seat???

Rebirth-Day 4

I picked up my old Love Dare book and began flipping through the pages to see how far I had gotten. I think I made it to Day 12 before giving up. Why is it so important to have Love in your life? Why do I need that right now? In the end, I realize now how important Family is and that "running the streets" has no ending point but death.

I read Psalm 119 (Thanks Michelle) and it really helped me grasp God's unfailing love that I am guilty of forgetting sometimes during my worse times.

I asked God for a clean heart. I asked the Lord to be the light under my feet and order my pathway. Right now, my life has many road blocks and I need strength to get over each hurdle that keeps me inward.

I pray for restoration of my family, love, peace, and joy. Please pray for me.

Rebirth-Day 3

Woke up this morning feeling like I lost the one thing in my heart that no one even knew I loved.

Bothered by the desire to restore what was lost, I face the uncertainty of never feeling the way I felt. Trapped in a conclusive predicament, head down, I miss you. Life has not been the same.

The Rebirth-Day 2

With repentance, comes understanding. With understanding, comes growth.

Lord, in your living word, Psalm 138 reads: "Lord, with all my heart I thank you. I will sing your praises before the armies of angels in heaven. I face your Temple as I worship, giving thanks to you for all your lovingkindness and faithfulness, for your promises are backed by all the honor of your name. When I pray, you answer me, and encourage me by giving me the strength I need."

Right now Lord I need you like never before. I do not want to duplicate what has already been done that destroyed a household, love, and family. I am seeking understanding daily, but I do not feel like I am growing.

I NEED YOU LORD LIKE MY SKIN NEEDS THE SUN.

The Rebirth-Day 1

"Breathe Unto Me Oh Lord"

My heart is still searching and wondering, Why me?

A Brand New Start

Wanted to go somewhere to cleanse of my mind of the many sins I committed when I talked down to you;

Fairy-taled conclusions, remorseful of the lack of time I did not take to re-invent the truthfulness of the love shared.

Bottled in my own comfort zone, I could not face the reality that losing you was like stabbing my own self in the chest;

At best, I cried. But the weeping never seemed to want to stop.

I reached out beyond the confinements of my ego and pride and shouted out at the top of my lungs that Lord, I am sorry.

Silence deafened me; Muted by the serenity of the clashing of the waves, the thwarting of the flock of birds heading south-my spirit close in flight behind.

Etching my critical thoughts line by line in the moist sand's inbox,

the subject was unclear, the conclusion remained steadfast.

My lies were predicated on selfishness-I am alone.

My heart feels the pain as if it was giving birth to twins-still alone.

My journey, as I pray without ceasing, caused an eruption of all the parts of my body that was built out of love, realizing that because of my actions: I deserve to be alone.

On the way, I went. I travelled myself to a place that I could feel love in its truest form.

Where I could cry and not be ashamed; Where I could reform my transgressions and make a brand new start.

No more polluted entries to invade my bodily functions; No more pollution to hinder my out loud cries.

Furthered by purpose, strengthened by faith, carried by love,

I stretched my arms out, wrapped them around God's bosom, HE lifted me up, patted me on my back, and stroked my head and said, " Son, follow me."