There was a point in my life that I was employed by Satan. My employee number read 06041975. When Satan hired me, he immediately placed iron chains around my hands and on my feet. During Satan's crash course orientation, he served me, along with others all kinds of alcohol with loud demeaning music playing amidst his teachings that promoted hated for women and relationships, promotion of greed, money and power, and the joys of material wealth and possessions. Everyday, along with the consumption of alcoholic beverages, Satan began telling me that whatever comes to my mind matters over anything else including God's living word. It should be all about me: My desires, my lusts, my cravings, my wants, my needs, my money, my women, my influence, and my reputation that i placed at such a high level that i felt untouchable. Who could stop me now!!!
Well, ladies and gentlemen...God stopped me.
I lost everything that meant something to me. My wife and my family. I hold back many tears because I did not uphold my end of the bargain on my wedding day. I promised her that I would be her husband until God calls US home, but I carried the same acts that Satan hired me to do into my marriage. I wept in my sleep for days at a time. I asked God if He could pick up the broken pieces of my heart because I had no energy to move forth. Separated by sin, I wanted to come Home, but my keys had no ability to unlock the very door that was shut in my face. I was alone and afraid of what lied ahead. My future and my everything was supposed to be shared with my wife. But during my journey, my future only foresaw me. Who was I fooling? When I dated her, I was a man. When I became engaged to her, I became a boy again. When I married her, I was still a boy. Now, that she is gone, this fool has finally became a man. Satan despised me. He is the Father of Lies!! I remember he told me during the orientation, that if I want all the riches of the world, to take refuge in him, bastard!! I would have all the women. All my desires would be met. Yet, he played puppet with me, mocked me, stole my integrity, and gave falsehood to my character and gave me generic seeds that destroyed my family while he simply goes "my bad."
So when i stare into the mirror, I realize that sin has no face...its what the face feeds itself that gives sin life.
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