By God's Grace, I was able to see many seasons, leaves turning from forest green to a rustic brown. The oxygen of the planet sucking the very life / pigmentation of that very leaf causing it to wither away into the abyss of planet Earth. I never took inventory of my own life: My short-comings, successes, failures, lost loves, and my walk in faith. Most of my life, I just lived. Sometimes, the next day was hard to see especially when my life was interrupted by human error. Those human errors predicated death in some actualities. Death was scary to think of. Thinking of death made my heart travel upward bound towards my throat, but as quickly as the thought of death consumed my soul, I was gently reminded of this scripture:
Psalm 39: 1-6
"I said to myself, I'm going to quit complaining! I'll keep quiet, especially when the ungodly are around me. But as I stood there silently the turmoil within me grew to the bursting point. The more I mused, the hotter the fires inside. Then at last I spoke, and pled with God: Lord, help me to realize how brief my time on earth will be. Help me to know that I am here for but a moment more. My life is no longer than my hand! My whole lifetime is but a moment to you."
As I watched the green leaf turn a rustic brown, I watched me turn from a man who accepted the things of the world become a product of something Brand New. The world was deoxygenating my soul-suffocating my will to live. But Lord, I know what you had to do to allow me to fall flat on my face to learn that you are quick to rescue and quick to forgive. And though my days on this Earth are numbered, your purpose and plan for me is right on time.
I was that forest green leaf, lying helplessly on the graveled pavement. And as I sought the hand of man, his touch de-oxygenated my soul turning me into a rustic brown leaf with hell in wait.
God, said, "Enough, He is Mines!" And I am His!
So Lord, when my number is called.....I will not be afraid!
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