I attempt to stay focus with the task at Hand, but the memories of our epic loving-making and placing our initials between the handwritten heart in the all-white sand still has me in disbelief now that your away.
No lies, no preservatives, no hidden agendas, I was just a man seeking the silver and gold of your heart, yet wondering where exactly did i fit in your life.
Looking through your eyes, there i knew, yes there I knew, I went to a place where no Man in your life has ever been before.
Clutching my face with my nervous hands, I say good-bye my love.
We promised that we would never say good bye. That we would hold on the steadiness of what love did for us: It brought us together and there we would be the world's example of how to press through it all through patience and God's diligence.
If the earth trembled, we ran to one other. But I had to say good-bye. I lied to you. I manipulated you. I misrepresented you.
Remember: No lies, no preservatives, no hidden agendas, i SOUGHT the silver and gold of your heart, but I fooled myself to believe I was not the perfect fit in your life.
Instead of building a portfolio of holy matrimony, I built everything that my mind could conjure onto quicksand...
I want to let go.
I want to scream.
I want to cry and feel sorry for myself.
I want to apologize.
I want to feel bitter and angry.
I want to place blame.
i want to feel a pinch of jealousy.
But, I if I can say Good-Bye to the love of my lifetime, I can say Good-Bye to any and all things that negatively distract me.
One moment at a time...
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