Rebirth Day 21

Rebirth Day-20

My heart and mind had a contest: Who could heal first.

My heart had a huge hole in its core where the blood flow was minimal and sometimes leaking in places that were uncommon.

On the other hand, my mind, always thinking and plotting about things I physically cannot control, found refuge in bullshit and confusion. No longer a product of my past: Newness has finally found a home.

Rebirth Day 19: Chris Walker - Giving You All My Love

Rebirth Day-18

Carrying the burden of not protecting a heart that was as fragile as mines

Some days are better than others

Bended knees and arms extended to heaven's borders

For the millionth times, I asked God for forgiveness.

I remained in silence without prayer, thought, or a single word to give God

Hoping that my heart's murmurs are heard along side of the anxiety of not knowing what is forthcoming.

Somedays I wish I were perfect: Everything I do and say would be right on time.

But I run red lights symbolic of how I analyze my own processes that language my life.

English please!

What is a man supposed to do after he has lost everything?

I pray and hope and reach and want and cry and ponder and dream and pray and pray, but my eagerness makes me forget about patience.

Down the alter I walk and swallowing heavy because I am about to embark on a new walk, new attitude and a new forgiveness: Forgiving myself.

My head is down, not due to sadness, but surrendering my thoughts upon my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ because when I am ready my head will rise and my "Rebirth" will begin.

Rebirth Day-17

There is soulful music calming the inner-most parts of my soul

You and I dancing the night away

Falling in a love trance, captivated by your smile that reminds me of Home.

With no intent of wanting to fall in love again, I grab your hands for security

My heart delicate and piercing with wants, desires, afraid of heartbreak and bad conclusions.

Don't really know how much I am capable of giving.

But that soulful music dancing around in my soul

Spinning to a heavenly tune that allows closeness in standing room only

With you, I have won.

Able to justify the way I feel by allowing my actions to dictate my thoughts

Dance with me; Don't dare let me go.

Let the music play and fine tune my heart to the perfect melody

So the reward will be our love becoming an endless classic that embodies perfection in its essence

And agape love through sacrifice and willingness.

The finish is nearing but our love has just begun.

I watch you under the perfect light that seasons your beauty beyond measure

Oh, my love, my love, my love

This is so right.

Never do I want the music to end.

Rebirth Day-16

Wasn't the best listener / Wasn't the best friend at times / Didn't always do the things that mattered most in my heart / I yearn for a re-start / Where we could interlock our hands once again and remind you how much I need you here / This re-start is lonely and scary / No one to lay my feelings to rest upon / No one to kiss good-night / No one to wake up happy to / No one to battle life with / I was a second late / I had stopped briefly to pick up some flowers for you / Cause I know my moods seemed to always get to you /We battled everyday to solve issues that pushed us further and further apart / 11 years of hope / salted and dissolved in one single tear / I cried for months / starving my feelings on confusion and fear / Fear is not of God / I stopped crying / Instead / I mourned the lost of love, hope, and faith that We would be ok / But those days are far and few / But / never allowing separation to take away the Love between You and I that is Heavenly true / I will always love you through the test of time / My heart is on the line / cause I still see you as mine / Forever we will be / The crying, remorse, disappointment will remain / as will my tears.

Rebirth Day-15

I sit in solitude wondering how did I get to this place where I am restricted from placing my arms around you. Weary from the confusion of the cards life has dealt me, I attempt to reach out beyond the restrictive barriers of these jail bars, yet, you are so far out of my reach. I yell out "Come back, Come back...I am sorry Honey" but as I wiped the tears away from my eyes that blurred me from glancing at you one more time, within that nano-second you were gone.

How can I protect you baby?

How can I make love to you baby?

How can I date you baby?

No way can I picture you with another man baby!

How can I be a full-time father to our kids baby?

I am guilty as charged. My pride separated us. My ego divorced us. But my Love for you gives me hope for us.