IF I COULD WRITE....

A silly love song, I would trace a heart on the window with my finger with the morning's dew scribing the words I LOVE YOU followed by the date I met you ending with the word Forever do us part.

If I could write...a silly love song, I would put your love on Repeat with whispered lips and truthfulness that will carry us beyond the course.

If I could write...a silly love song, I would write it all about you and how gentle you make living on Earth feel.

If I could write...a silly love song, as we sleep, I will interlock my hand into your hand ensuring that I will always be All that you need and protect you even as you dream the night away.

If I could write...a silly love song, every time I exhale I will be thankful for another second of life to share the warrants of my heart-as my heart releases its deepest fears.

If I could write...a silly love song, I will surrender my hands above my head, fall to my knees, broken and humbled, and yell out Jehovah Jireh...YOU ARE ALL THAT I NEED.

If I could write...a silly love song, I will make love to you by the actions of my words: Our love will be born again through favor, kindness, and admiration.

If I could write...a silly love song, I will go on and on and on and never stop loving you, loving you, loving you, holding you, touching you, kissing you, believing in you...

I guess I will never stop writing silly love songs...

Te amo mi amor contigo para siempre.

Jermon E. Cooks

Born: 06/04/1975 Died: 06/04/2075

By God's Grace, I was able to see many seasons, leaves turning from forest green to a rustic brown. The oxygen of the planet sucking the very life / pigmentation of that very leaf causing it to wither away into the abyss of planet Earth. I never took inventory of my own life: My short-comings, successes, failures, lost loves, and my walk in faith. Most of my life, I just lived. Sometimes, the next day was hard to see especially when my life was interrupted by human error. Those human errors predicated death in some actualities. Death was scary to think of. Thinking of death made my heart travel upward bound towards my throat, but as quickly as the thought of death consumed my soul, I was gently reminded of this scripture:

Psalm 39: 1-6

"I said to myself, I'm going to quit complaining! I'll keep quiet, especially when the ungodly are around me. But as I stood there silently the turmoil within me grew to the bursting point. The more I mused, the hotter the fires inside. Then at last I spoke, and pled with God: Lord, help me to realize how brief my time on earth will be. Help me to know that I am here for but a moment more. My life is no longer than my hand! My whole lifetime is but a moment to you."

As I watched the green leaf turn a rustic brown, I watched me turn from a man who accepted the things of the world become a product of something Brand New. The world was deoxygenating my soul-suffocating my will to live. But Lord, I know what you had to do to allow me to fall flat on my face to learn that you are quick to rescue and quick to forgive. And though my days on this Earth are numbered, your purpose and plan for me is right on time.

I was that forest green leaf, lying helplessly on the graveled pavement. And as I sought the hand of man, his touch de-oxygenated my soul turning me into a rustic brown leaf with hell in wait.

God, said, "Enough, He is Mines!" And I am His!

So Lord, when my number is called.....I will not be afraid!

Whatever Happened to Finding Solutions?

If there is one academic subject that most people dislike, 8 out of 10 people are going to say Math, in particular, Word Problems. Like math, people tend to face problems the same way-Avoidance.

I am sorry that I made you the problem without finding a simple solution: For not allowing my love for you to assist in finding solutions to our difficult moments together. It was not easy for me to put my hands up and "surrender" like a mathematical problem-If I didn't get it, it was easy to move on to the next one. What if God gave up on you and treated you and your strife like a Word Problem??

When I was a child, I hated subtraction. I would sit at the dinner table for hours at a time playing a guessing game. My mother would correct my homework finding error after error. With all the erasing and re-writing, my paper was torn, black and blue. Stay with me now, I am going somewhere with this. I would sit at the table for hours tired. I would cry for sympathy. My mother, frustrated with my lack of concentration, would get that old beat up coffee-brown belt standing behind me instructing ( really, yelling with that angry spit coming out of her mouth) me over and over and over again to think. I couldn't. My mind was inoperable from the lack of Idontknowwhat...Pop goes the end part of the belt against my shoulder blade. Ouch! My mind began to wake up, just a little bit. Finally, I solved one problem. Then another and another. Finally, all the word equations were completed. The paper must have got popped a few times with the belt too because there were plenty of holes dampened by my frustrated tears. My mother went on to say "re-write your homework on a clean piece of paper, neatness counts."

Sometimes in our own lives, we need that Pop to give us the courage to face our problems head-on. Its so easy to run from the problem, but as you continue to run the problem increases in strength while the solution is left behind still awaiting input. I hate problems just as I hated math. Though I thought I was correct in achieving the right answers, upon correction, my methods and solutions were wrong causing me to whine, cry, bicker, hate, and Give Up.

Too many person(s) are giving up on their wives, husbands, families and close friends in the time of need. What is happening to us people? Has Love become superficial like a high priced car? What foundation are you living Your Life on? Whatever happened to finding solutions? Nothing, we are the problem and until we start living our lives as solution-makers, we will live life in confusion like an algebraic equation, not easily solved.

I wanted to love you beyond the boundaries of the ocean; discover places where we wouldn't be ashamed to make love faces; a place where I could discover you all over again and again. My lover, my confidant, my oasis where my dreams await the setting of the sun- adding another day that my love could grow with you, learn you, but most of all, become ONE with you.

Never does my heart waiver moments that I could place my arms around the very things that complete you as a woman because those same attributes completes me as your man. You see loving you beyond the boundaries has given me vision beyond our love. It has grown me in preparation for the right now, the how, and the follow-through (consistently speaking). Sitting for hours at a time, collecting the whispered thoughts that give prelude to new beginnings, eager minds wanting to love one second more, one heartbeat at a time. So when the night ends, reality concludes that We live for love, for Us, beyond the tumultuous endeavors, one day at a time.

Tears of Joy

Lord, your abounding, unfailing love for an equal opportunity sinner such as I has given me the fortitude to keep pressing forward. My tears bear the confusion in my soul that wants to release the compassion of giving love without blemishes. I seek the truth, not in my words, but through my daily actions. Without the relationship I have with you Father, I would compromise with sin. I found acceptance with the direction its winds pushed me towards. Father, I cry out to you to remake me so I may bring Glory to your Kingdom. Allow my mind to furnish your living word as my source of strength and conclusion. Let my eyes settle upon heaven to look beyond the course that this deceitful world as conjured up to destroy me. As my lips speak, let me praise, honor, and worship you, not only when my prayers are answered, but when my prayers are closed because they were not in alignment of Your will. Let my arms extend to heaven where your throne sits and surrender me and my processes that fall short each and every time. Allow my legs to walk this earth to share my testimony with how I used to walk through life sinning to now how I walk through life as a servant of Jesus Christ winning. Lord, ever since I won that first battle, the Tears of joy has been plentiful.

All praises to Jesus, my Lord and Savior.

Thank you Lord.

The Enemy (In me)

I fell to my knees and reverenced my Lord and Savior. Not knowing whether to cry or scream, the sins that I have committed to my body have gotten the best of me tonight. Promises after Promises, I fought daily with the temptations of exploitation of the perversion that lies dormant in the unseen compartments of my heart. I plead with the Lord "that I cannot win...it feels too good...I cant stop." Speaking truthfully, somewhere deep down, I didn't want to stop. But I know that I am falling further and further away the promise The Lord made as HE was nailed to the cross. With the last bit of what was left in HIS body, Jesus whispered, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.

Victory!!!!

Lord, I know I have to place these gloves on my hands because You Lord gave me power and authority over all powers and principalities...

So I am ready, whether I fall or stumble, these gloves will stay on in a battle position Ready!

Are you?

Are you with your SOUL MATE or are you Mating for your Soul?

I was sitting in my living room and this McDonald's commercial appeared on-screen. The young lady asked her boyfriend "What do you like about me? Hesitant, he came up with basically jumbled words of nothing. She replied, "You are my soul mate!" I thought to myself, Hmmmmm, Soul Mate? Often used, but never fully explained.

In my lifetime, I have overheard people say He/She makes me feel this way. He/She respects me in every way. He/She treats me soooo good. Now, I thought, Do people say and feel this way Before or After the sex? If He/She wanted to have sex only with someone whom they are married to, how many Soul Mates would actually wait?

Nowadays, people are driven by lust, perversion, and sexual impurity. Relationship building is under new management-Get in and Get out! People are dating for sex. Sex is all around us. Its on billboards, magazines, dating internet services, and walking down our community streets and neighborhoods. We all want love, but the Sex is the prerequisite. The soul desires to mate. The flesh seeks affection. The butterflies in the belly only lasts for a season. And once that season comes to a close, the Real relational work begins. But what it looks to be, once the soul as mated, most He/She go AWOL, along with the relationship. Now, you are holding your hands up, screaming WTF did I do?

Let me tell you what you did:

You let that person's words shape and mold you. The tedious words made you conclude that He/She was your soul mate. Did you pray before you indulged in this He/She? Did God give you confirmation? Or did your curiosity and need for affection further your need to be with He/She?

So, now you mate for you soul. You are so in love, but guess what the Hunter(man) has conquered your soul and controls you, your body, and your mind. Why? Because of your need for affection. Steadily, that He/She does not talk to you the same way or make time to date and / or spend time with you. He/She priorities are different.

So before you lay on your back or get on top of someone, ask yourself, Am I having sex with this person who is my Soul Mate or am I mating for my Soul?

sin has no face...its mission to steal, kill, and destroy!

There was a point in my life that I was employed by Satan. My employee number read 06041975. When Satan hired me, he immediately placed iron chains around my hands and on my feet. During Satan's crash course orientation, he served me, along with others all kinds of alcohol with loud demeaning music playing amidst his teachings that promoted hated for women and relationships, promotion of greed, money and power, and the joys of material wealth and possessions. Everyday, along with the consumption of alcoholic beverages, Satan began telling me that whatever comes to my mind matters over anything else including God's living word. It should be all about me: My desires, my lusts, my cravings, my wants, my needs, my money, my women, my influence, and my reputation that i placed at such a high level that i felt untouchable. Who could stop me now!!!

Well, ladies and gentlemen...God stopped me.

I lost everything that meant something to me. My wife and my family. I hold back many tears because I did not uphold my end of the bargain on my wedding day. I promised her that I would be her husband until God calls US home, but I carried the same acts that Satan hired me to do into my marriage. I wept in my sleep for days at a time. I asked God if He could pick up the broken pieces of my heart because I had no energy to move forth. Separated by sin, I wanted to come Home, but my keys had no ability to unlock the very door that was shut in my face. I was alone and afraid of what lied ahead. My future and my everything was supposed to be shared with my wife. But during my journey, my future only foresaw me. Who was I fooling? When I dated her, I was a man. When I became engaged to her, I became a boy again. When I married her, I was still a boy. Now, that she is gone, this fool has finally became a man. Satan despised me. He is the Father of Lies!! I remember he told me during the orientation, that if I want all the riches of the world, to take refuge in him, bastard!! I would have all the women. All my desires would be met. Yet, he played puppet with me, mocked me, stole my integrity, and gave falsehood to my character and gave me generic seeds that destroyed my family while he simply goes "my bad."

So when i stare into the mirror, I realize that sin has no face...its what the face feeds itself that gives sin life.

Lord, you are my redeemer. The alpha and omega of not some things but ALL things. Lord, I ask that you take control of my life and use me in any capacity that will bring glory to your Kingdom. You are the reason! Holy Spirit allow me to learn, war, contend, and be a blessing for someone...

This will be the year that I subject myself to change. I lost people in my life that I thought I would grow old with. I lost things in my life that I thought I needed. I heard things about me that were true, but I could not validate the truths because of my pride. I have fallen from the mountaintop, yet I still strive to move forth to a better place. Lord, forgive me for my transgressions. For I have sinned and I seek to move forth in your glory. Lord, your mercies have humbled me, carried me through many storms, and yor grace and mercy has allowed me to awake every morning to the chirping of birds. I am grateful. I do not always say / do the right things, but I really need you right now Father. I miss talking with you, worshipping your holy name, loving person(s) as YOU love me. This is an open cry-an open invite for you Lord to show me that pathway I need to take to become a better man, friend, father, and son because my time is running out of time.